Every time I have tried to produce an About page I have always ended up with something that I didn't like. I just don't think I am cut out to write about myself in the third person biography style and I think it always comes across as forced and maybe a little big headed. As such I thought I would try something completely different. So instead of writing what I thought you guys might like to know about me I instead asked my regular readers, friends and family to ask me some interesting questions that they want to know the answers to. To be honest I really wasn't sure what to expect but even so was a little surprised with what they came up with. Hey you asked the questions so don't blame me if you find the answers strange and disturbing.

If you can meet one person of your choice, dead or alive, known or not, who would this be?

Hmm that's a tough one. I take it that they have to have been real at some point so I can't say Dirk Pitt or Richard Sharpe then. Einstein would be a pretty cool person to meet and I would love to chat with Richard Dawkins. There are loads of great historical figures I would like to meet but it is difficult to pin it down to one person. Nikola Tesla would be a really interesting person to talk to as would Vespasian. On the other hand it might be nice to meet either Helen of Troy or Cleopatra to see if they really were all they are cracked up to be.

A fire is approaching your house, you have time to take five items out of your house before it burns down, what do you take?

Ok so I'm probably not doing this one right but my immediate thought with this one was along the lines of 1) a telephone to call the fire brigade, 2-5) a fire extinguisher, a hose, a shovel and a fire blanket to try and stop the fire reaching my house in the first place. But then I guess that isn't the answer you were looking for and is a bit of a cop out. I have loads of books that I would hate to see burn but then I can't really say "my books" as one item now can I. Let's go for 1) My Mum, 2) My Dad, 3) My Ipod, 4) My Digital SLR Camera and 5) My Computer.

You wake up one morning to discover that you have one of Superman's powers, which one do you have and why?

Why Super Ventriloquism of course. Nah only kidding. Now the obvious answer would be to say his ability to fly or his x-ray vision, and there isn't a guy on the planet who hasn't thought about what it would be like to have x-ray vision, but I think I'm going to go for that power that is often overlooked but which is pretty fundamental to who Superman is. I would choose his invulnerability. There are so many things in life that I am afraid to even try as I think I might get hurt. If I knew that I couldn't be harmed then I think I would take up martial arts, base jumping and free running in an instant.

If you were a member of the opposite sex and straight which celebrity would you have the hots for?

Ok this was one of the questions I was not looking forward to answering. I'm now a woman and apparently I have to be straight, so I guess that rules out trying to convince Anne Heche to go lesbian again. Er the only way I can think to do this is to think of the traits that I find attractive in women and look for a guy who displays them. I like women who are smart, funny, kind, a little bit kooky and interesting so...hmmm...ah there's an idea. If I was a woman I think I would have the hots for David Tennant. As a guy I think David Tennant is really rather cool and he comes across as a great fun genuine guy and I guess he is rather handsome in a slightly geeky kind of way. So yeah I would go for David Tennant...and please don't take that sentence out of context as I will never live it down.

Tell us two things about you that hardly anyone knows?

1) I count Magpies!

One for sorrow,
Two for joy,
Three for a girl,
Four for a boy,
Five for silver,
Six for gold,
Seven for a secret never to be told.

Magpies have to be my favourite bird. They are visually very striking and easy to spot and because they are both territorial and monogamous it means that if you see a couple at the end of your garden one day and then again the next day you can say for sure that they are the same birds. Also if you see more than two together you know you are seeing a family unit. Plus, and I except I may be alone in this one, anyone who has doubts that bird evolved from dinosaurs only has to watch a Magpie walking through the grass. They move just like the Velociraptors in Jurassic Park, which I know isn't exactly scientific proof but it is good enough for me.

2) Hot air balloons freak me out. I think this is because they combine so many of my phobias together. My fear of heights, my fear of people being to close to the edge and my fear of flying. Plus they are sneaky buggers. There you are just driving along all happy when suddenly a bloody great balloon comes looming out at you. It sends a shiver down my spine.

What are you most looking forward to in the next ten years?

Getting to see my wonderful little niece grow up has to be at the top of my list. Other than that there are plans to return to the moon in the next few years which is something that excites me. Also scientists believe that they are only a few years away from creating artificial life, though admittedly this has been claimed for a number of years now. I think this is very exciting.

If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?

The other one!

Blonde or Brunette?

This is actually a tricky one for me to answer. To be honest I don't think hair colour is of major importance to me. I like both, in fact if I look back through my life at the girls I have really liked the first was a blonde, then there was a brunette, then another blonde, then a brunette and most recently another blonde. Right now I am waiting to meet a wonderful brunette who will rip my heart out, stamp on it and then force feed me the bruised, beaten and bleeding pieces. Actually when it comes to hair colour I really really like girls with bright red hair, and I'm talking fire engine red here not ginger. Ah if only it was a natural hair colour.

What do you have on series link on Sky+?

Now this may seem like a very simple question but I think it really gives you an insight into my warped and messed up mind, so thanks Paul for this one. Ok, be warned this is going to be a long list, it also includes a couple of programs that have just finished showing and are not actually on TV right at the moment but which I haven't actually got around to watching yet:

ER
The Wire
Numbers
Shark
Top Gear
Myth Busters
Supernatural
NCIS
Chuck
Ghost Whisperer
Smallville
Family Guy
Men in Trees
House
Boston Legal
Scrubs
Smash Lab
My Name is Earl
Criminal Minds
Dexter
Doctor Who
Doctor Who Confidential

What are you afraid of running out of?

Time. Despite the fact that I am definitely a "why put off until tomorrow what you can put of indefinitely" kind of guy I do worry about running out of time to do things. Nowhere is this truer than when it comes to reading books. Every time I finish a book and have to decide what to read next I find myself weighing up the books as to which ones I would be most disappointed not to have read if the world were to suddenly come to an end or I were to drop dead...yup I'm a happy go lucky chap.

If you could change one thing about the world what would it be?

There are so many things about the world I would like to change. The planet really sucks an awful lot of the time and the good old human race has a lot to answer for in that regard. I think maybe if right and wrong could be a little more black and white or if it was easy to tell who the good people were and who the evil ones were it would make a great difference. Yeah the world would probably still suck but it would reduce the odds of evil, greedy, power hungry people getting into power if everyone could tell exactly what they were like before hand. My parents have a copy of The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis which has pictures to accompany each letter. As the letters go on and the older demon becomes more evil and bitter his appearance changes, as does that of the younger demon who becomes more happy and good. If you could tell if someone was evil or good at a glance, and by extension if you yourself were a good or evil person, I think the world would be very different...or maybe that is a truly terrible idea?

Do you have any pet hates?

People! I hates 'em I do. The world would be a much better place if not for all the people. Seriously though, I hate liars and just people who use dishonesty to support their cause in general. I hate people who act as though they have been wronged with it is clear to all that they are in fact the person in the wrong. I hate angry stupid people. Stupid people I can handle, angry people get on my nerves but often they have a reason for being angry. Angry stupid people are those people who are angry with you because they are too stupid to realise that the problem is there fault. Bad drivers, and by that I don't mean people who are honestly not very good at driving, I mean people who drive as though they have more rights to the road than other people and other road users are just in their way. For example people who drive at 45 in the 60 zone and then continue to drive at 45 in the 30 and then get cross at you for hold them up.

People who over take on roundabouts or simply don't get in the correct lane to go round them. People who corner on the wrong side of the road, who over take when it is clearly not their turn to do so and people who speed in general. The way I look at it is this. If you are doing something while driving that you wouldn't do if there was a police car behind you then you are in the wrong. Morals are not something you just do when other people are watching, you do them when no one is watching. Just because there isn't a cop around to stop you doesn't mean you should do it. Also those people who say things like "I only speed a bit, the police wouldn't even give me a ticket" are missing the point. Do you use the same logic for other crimes, yes speeding is a crime? Do you steal penny sweets from shops because you know the police wouldn't bother charging you as it is not worth the time and expense? The law is the law and I personally think there is no excuse for breaking it.

And I'm going to stop there before I burst a blood vessel.

If you could go back or forward in time, where would you go?

There are loads of moments in history that I would like to have seen...that is until I realise that seeing them in the flesh probably wouldn't have been all that much fun. The Battle of Thermopylae for example, you know the one in the movie 300, would have been amazing to witness but would probably get you killed. So instead I am going to suggest some future events I would like to see. The first man on Mars. The first Human to set foot on a none solar planet. The discovery of extraterrestrial life. The first production model flying car or house hold human like robot. I'm sure I could think of more if I tried.

Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?

I can't think of any way that dying in a blaze of glory would not be horribly painful so I am gonna have to go with peacefully in my sleep. That said if something was going to happen that would result in the death of someone I loved and I could stop that from happening by laying down my own life I like to think I would do that, but then who really knows for sure.

Do you talk to yourself?

Yeah, how else can I expect to get a sensible answer?

Have you ever been in love?

Yup, and it sucked each time. Don't plan on doing that again in a hurry.

Well hopefully that gives you a better idea of who I am...now feel free to run away screaming.